I often recall the time of 2nd year when we were to choose our major, how certain I was to opt for Miniature Painting as my major. How convinced I was that it’s gonna prove to be wonderful for me in every way possible. The kind of faith I had in my skills that used to come out from somewhere very deep inside and the attachment I used to feel with the discipline. I never at that point imagined that all of this would fade away with the passage of time and by the final year I would be questioning myself “why on earth did I ever choose miniature for the rest of my life, at least for thesis” a thousand times in each passing second. Probably because I could never visualize all the obstacles that would be coming in my way and the unexpected turns life would take that you can’t do anything about and just flow with the flow.
It’s only been two months since I have discovered that there are other chief syndromes other than just PMS in a girl’s life. Mine would be pre thesis syndrome right now. I’ll put in the picture for you how it affects your daily life.
Initially the dreams you used to have of probably doing awesome job at it would turn into nightmares. In the leisure time that you used to daydream about world tours or being with your spouse will now be taken over by the thought of having a remote control to your life essentially having a fast forward button which you could press to skip all these months, lack of sleep, blooper n all and show you a glimpse of the thesis day so you know your result in advance and then work accordingly.
a. *This is THE ONLY thing that you think about while eating, sleeping driving and even shopping!!
b. *You doze off thinking about it and wakeup with the same thought.
c. *It just doesn’t occupy space in your time at school or mind but the thought of it runs like water n would find its way to every tiny bit gap that it finds in your life.
d. *It’s everywhere; in your conscious, sub-conscious and all the other possible states of mind
e. *Panic attacks n anxiety becomes part of your existence!!
When I was in 2nd and 3rd year and used to see senior thesis students, I would pity them.. Completely ignoring the thought of even being in the same position one day. However they would always tell you that it’s not as hard at seems in the beginning. It’s just like any other project assigned to you, once you have the concept clear in your head and it starts evolving, things get smooth automatically..
But again about ONCE HAVING THE CONCEPTUAL CLARITY OF MIND involved in it. The heap of cluttering ideas one day and having a blank mind the very next day is what you’ve to deal with as the first step to it.
But no matter how difficult it may seem in the beginning, I am sure it would not be impossible and one day when ill grow old and look back to this time I’d say “oh crap! I used to whine about thesis, not having a clue how practical life would be a much complicated and tougher version of it”!!
PS: thanks to the great lyrics that keep you going!!
Lyrics taken by: Lost – Coldplay.